How to Love... YOU
Love is hard. It’s especially difficult when it comes to loving the one person you’re often times judgmental, regardless and unkind to: YOU. We tend to question who we are and what we are on a daily basis with questions and statements such as, “Am I good enough?” “What am I doing with my life?” “I’m too __________.” “I’m not _________ enough.” And if we’re not asking ourselves damaging questions or providing ourselves with negative statements, we are possibly forgetting about ourselves, neglecting our much needed self-care, self-love and self-compassion. There is NOTHING selfish about giving yourself quality time and love. If anything, you’re doing others a favor by finding your own time to connect with yourself because you are potentially also building mindfulness, which at the end of the day will improve not only the relationship with yourself, but also your relationship with others.
Self-compassion is key in loving yourself. First, let’s define it so we’re clear. Compassion for others involves having unconditional positive regard and love for another human being, while keeping an open mind and heart in order to build an understanding of that human being. Therefore, self-compassion is loving yourself and keeping an open mind while trying to understand yourself. Of course, this is tricky when you have negative judgments of yourself, but there a few ways to begin building self-compassion. The first step is spending quality time with YOU.
Here are a few ways you can improve your relationship with yourself…
Find a hobby. If you feel like there isn’t necessarily anything that “sparks” your “passion,” try to find it! This can easily go along with “say yes,” a few notes below this. Try something new. Keep an open mind and let go of any negative beliefs toward how it may go. Most importantly, give it time. We don’t always like something the very first time we try it!
Schedule it out. It’s easy to tell ourselves we will do something, but if you know you have a hard time sticking, put it in your calendar or write it down somewhere you know you’ll see it. Hold yourself accountable. If you want the change, you’ll make it happen. Continue to check in with yourself.
Meditate. I may be biased, but… meditation is seriously the best way to connect with yourself. If you haven’t tried it or you’re not sure how to incorporate it into your life, start with reading my last blog post, “Life as a Meditation.” Finding stillness will allow you to hear yourself.
Pamper yourself. When I am in need of self-care, I go straight to the tub. It’s the BEST way to reset and unwind. Take a bubble bath, take out a face mask, do some candle-lit yoga, get a massage, etc. This is one you’re sure to love.
Disconnect. Turn off your phone. Go for a drive. Take a hike. Be with nature. Go see a movie. By yourself. It’s hard for some to be alone, but it’s so important to find that time and to feel comfortable with being with yourself.
Say no. If you have a hard time saying no for fear of letting someone down, this one’s for you. Put yourself first! Say no to something or someone you’ve been meaning to say no to, especially if your desire to actually do it isn’t there. It’s okay.
Say yes. If you’re the type of person who has a hard time saying yes to things, this one’s for you. Say yes to trying something new. Say yes to something you know could be good for you, but you keep putting off or avoiding.
Now, take the time to listen up. Your heart may be trying to tell you something. Maybe it sounds like… “You ARE enough.” XO